Stop comparing yourself to others!

If you want to fulfill God's plans for your life, you can not compare yourself to others. Find out why you need to stop looking around and what you should do instead.

Transcript

Comparison is a Waste of Time

We as Christian women sometimes think less of ourselves because of how amazing someone else seems.

There is literally no point in trying to be like anyone besides Jesus, and who He has designed us to be.

The struggle is real with the comparison game, isn’t it? It is so difficult not to notice when someone else is wearing the clothes we want to wear, holding that baby we wish we can conceive, crushing it at that job we are still learning how to do. You can’t get around noticing other people, especially if you are on social media. However, there is a difference between noticing other people and comparing yourself to them. As Christian women we should be able to overcome this, with the help of the Holy Spirit. That doesn’t mean the temptation won’t be there to compare yourself to others.

You can’t waste your time looking at other people. I feel like that is all I have done for the past couple of years, watch other people. I have spent a ridiculous amount of time online watching other people do things. I’ve attended webinars watching people show me how they made money online. I watched people make doll house toys, and train their puppies to do cute things (I don’t have a dog anymore by the way, and I really want one, so I watch other people with their dogs, naturally) I can’t get one right now.

I watch people clean their homes, and I’ve watched professional cleaners clean other people’s homes. When I think of all the ridiculous amounts of time I have spent doing this, I am a little embarrassed about it. I never considered myself to have a social media problem, and I will probably still watch a lot of those same things once in a while. What I have gotten away from, however, is comparison. Everything from how nice someone else’s home is to how nicely they apply their makeup and always look put together. How many followers they have, sometimes if I look better than them, or whatever. If I think that they are doing something that I could have done, I sigh and wish I had done that instead of just going ahead and doing it. The poison in the comparison is the discouragement. The world doesn’t need me because I feel like a second rate version of this other people out here. My self-esteem is shot because I see other people already succeeding at something that I want to do. Instead of learning from them and trying things and finding out what will work for me, I don’t do anything because I figure that if someone else compares me to them and they see what I see, I’ll never be successful. My competition will just completely wipe me out.

All that sounds terrible, but can you relate to that? Are you holding yourself back because you think that the world doesn’t need you because you feel like the cheaper, knock off version of someone way more amazing than you are? I have been there, done that, bought the t-shirit, the soundtrack, and all of the souvenirs. I lived there. There was no reason for me to step out and do what I do because someone else out there is already doing it better.

Are they? Are they better, or just different? Is it exactly what I am bringing to the table, or do they have some other angle? Are they truly my competition, or couldn’t they be an ally or partner in this whole thing? 

There is no reason to be concerned with anyone but Jesus. What did He do? What was He like? How can you be more like Him? That is the only comparison that you need to do. The Lord is the only measuring stick you should use. No one else matters. It doesn’t matter if 1 million people on this Earth are doing exactly what you are doing. The time you were born, the space that you live and work in, the people that you will touch, are all unique. Unless of course you have a twin with the exact same gifting and calling as you. If that’s you let me know, shoot me a text.

The Lord made you the way that you are in such a special way. 

It doesn’t matter what anyone else says or does, you are the only person who can be you. I mention this in my book. My favorite quote from myself: “You are the only one who can be you.” Think for a moment. The tortoise and the hare. Do you know that story? Slow and steady wins the race?

Anyway, if that tortoise took the time to pay attention to the comparison, there is no way that he ever would have agreed to race that hare in the first place. Comparison will take you out of the race completely. Forget about losing, you aren’t even a contestant! Look at what happened! Focus and consistency won that race. Not genetics, not some special gifting, not talent, not speed, just a slow and steady approach. One step at a time. One foot in front of the other again and again. Nothing fancy. He won. Do you know, that’s all we need to win at life?

Stop looking at other people and look the Christ. Jesus is the only one you need to focus on. Take one step at a time, follow after Him and don’t give up. You can’t quit because so and so got the position you wanted. You can’t give up because she is prettier than you, younger than you, has a nicer house than you. You can not throw in the towel because you were praying for child for years and your friend gets pregnant by accident. What is the Lord doing in you? What character is the Lord building in your heart through this? What are you enduring right now that seems like it isn’t a struggle for anyone else?

Are spiritual things hard for you yet you see other people just flowing in the Holy Spirit. Why doesn’t God speak to me that way, how come I don’t get my prayers answered that quickly? Doesn’t God love me as much as He loves her? Where is my blessing?

Let me tell you something. We can’t have the blessings that are meant for other people because they do not fit us. The blessings that you are eyeing the Lord gave other people are not for you. You think you want that but that’s not going to fit you. You weren’t made for that. You’ve got something better coming. Better not for comparison, better for you, do you understand what I’m saying? God doesn’t treat everyone the same way. He loves everyone the same amount, but He doesn’t treat everyone the same way. He has to give you what you were created for, what you are ready for. He has incredible plans for you. He may be waiting for you to log off the social media apps and start praying. Your blessing is waiting on the other side of your obedience. I don’t know who this is for today, but someone listening to this needs to stop looking around at what God is doing through other people and start surrendering to Him so He can get on with what you are called to. 

You need to put down your phone and sit at the feet of Jesus and find out what He has planned for you. It’s way better (for you) than anything else out there. The least of what God has for you is better (for you) than if you we just handed the exact things that you are jealous of.

If you want to endure to the end, comparison will ruin your plans. Galatians 6:4-5 NLT says, “Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. 5 For we are each responsible for our own conduct.” If you are focused on doing what God wants you to do, you are not going to have time to compare your walk to sister so and so. You need to get busy about your heavenly father’s business! It is not your concern how you measure up to someone else. You aren’t going to be held accountable for what they did. You can’t use self-doubt as an excuse for not going all in and obeying what God is calling you to do. 

Here is a tiny excerpt from my book that I wanted to read to you. It’s from chapter 4. “The comparison game is one that you shouldn’t play. This prideful hare took one look at the tortoise and pointed out what he thought were flaws. Compared to himself, his little legs and lack of speed seemed like a huge disadvantage. Our turtle friend did not see it that way. The tortoise in the story was confident in who he was. It did not matter that the rabbit’s legs were longer or that his stride stretched further. The turtle knew himself and what he was capable of, and the competition didn’t matter.”

Later on in that same chapter I write, We can be well aware of our own personal shortcomings, yet at the same time be fully aware that we have supernatural support. The tortoise knew that the odds appeared to be against him, but he also know that he could win. When life becomes difficult, and it does for everyone, we can also be sure that victory will be ours because of God’s grace. That is where true confidence comes from.” End quote.

Where are you drawing your confidence from, today? Is it in your talents or abilities? Is it in your skills and training? Does it come from Christ? Our confidence might be shaky because we haven’t set it on the rock it’s meant to be set on. If we are comparing ourselves to other women and not focusing on Christ, it’s no wonder that we’re struggling with this. If you want to move forward with boldness in the fullness of what God is calling you to, uproot your pride and place your confidence where it belongs: in Jesus. He is the one who knows best. He is the one who is there with you giving you that grace that you need to get through this (whatever this is for you). You can move forward with such strength, because it’s beyond you. You are backed by the one true and living God! He is in the business of creating unlikely heroes. God is in the habit of calling the ones the world would least expect to do His will. 

Woman of God, be encouraged today that God has a plan for you life and He designed you for a specific good work, Ephesians 2:10 remember? You are God’s masterpiece. If you have been trying to prove your worth, you can stop that now. If you have been trying to achieve so you can impress someone, or win favor or be like someone else, I’m giving you permission to stop that today. No one else can be you. God created you to be you, sis! Stop looking around and look up. Look up at your creator and let Him show you what He made you for. Do what he called you to do. Find out what He designed you to do. It doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing. We need to get into each other’s corners and root each other on. We need to connect in sisterhood and support and encourage each other not compete with one another. We have to stop judging each other and comparing ourselves, and start loving on each other, showing grace to each other and bear one another’s burdens. Galatians 6:2 NLT says “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”

Let’s agree to cheer one another on, shall we? Stop comparing yourself to your sister and start lifting her up. Get plugged in to the Jesus women community on patreon and grab a copy of the book! I’m a Turtle: Biblical Wisdom from the Hare and the Tortoise is available on Amazon, links for the group and the book are in the description.